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2 must-read books on self-love and self-growth

Self-love and self-growth do not need much of any introduction in this blog so I am going to skip an embellished introduction and dive straight into the topic. These two highly recommended books have come into my life when I am questioning everything and re-evaluating myself. Both the books have been written by Don Miguel Ruiz and they are easy to understand quick read books. Most of it is simply common sense which is sadly not common anymore.

The books are:

  • The Mastery of Love
  • The 4 Agreements

The Mastery of Love

If you are going through relationship problems be it with your parents, spouse, friends or even your kids this is a must-read book. It talks about realizing that our happiness is in our hands and we should not expect another person to make us happy.

Topics covered in The Mastery of Love:

  • The Wounded Mind
  • The Loss of Innocence
  • The Man Who Didn’t Believe in Love
  • The Track of Love, The Track of Fear
  • The Perfect Relationship
  • The Magical Kitchen
  • The Dream Master
  • S*x: The Biggest Demon in Hell
  • The Divine Huntress
  • Seeing With Eyes of Love
  • Healing the Emotional Body
  • God Within you

The truth is we all are struggling in our lives and henceforth expecting another person to heal us, make us joyful and complete is a recipe for failure. It is important to realize that we are complete and beautiful and if anybody else does not agree to it that is owing to his or her emotional wounds.

The book also talks about the importance of forgiveness. It states that,

“Take your pride and put it in the trash. You don’t need it. Just let go of the personal importance and ask for forgiveness. Forgive others, and you will see miracles start to happen in your life.”

“When you forgive yourself, self-acceptance begins and self-love grows. That is the supreme forgiveness — when you finally forgive yourself.”

Reading this book first thing in the morning with a cup of coffee fine-tuned me into the right mindset to start my day. Even when someone upsets me I take back my power from that person by realizing that it was my expectation from that person that disappointed me and my happiness is my responsibility.

You don’t need to accumulate knowledge to become wise; anyone can become wise. Anyone. When you become wise, life becomes easy, because you become who you really are. It’s difficult to try to be what you are not, to try to convince yourself and everyone else that you are what you are not.

Trying to be what you are not, expends all your energy. Being what you are doesn’t require any effort.

The 4 Agreements

This is a short and an extremely straight forward book that explains Toltec Wisdom in the simplest way possible. The book discusses how each of us humans is domesticated and is trying to live our lives based on rules created by other humans. The four agreements that will have a profound change in our lives if we abide by them are:

THE FIRST AGREEMENT: Be Impeccable with Your Word

THE SECOND AGREEMENT: Don’t Take Anything Personally

THE THIRD AGREEMENT: Don’t Make Assumptions


“Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive—the risk to be alive and express what we really are.”

Be Impeccable with Your Word

The word impeccable means without sin and this book explain that anything bad you do, say or think against yourself is a sin. It is important that we take responsibility for our actions without blaming us and others. Words have power and it is important to remember that before speaking. Words have the power to hurt and also heal. You choose what you intend to do with them.

This topic also covers the importance of honoring your word and fulfilling your commitments.

Don’t Take Anything Personally

This is so important yet we all forget this and keep reacting to other people’s mood fluctuations and feel like we are at fault. It is important to keep in mind that everything others do and say is not because of you but it is because of themselves and their situations.

Don’t make assumptions

In this world of social media where we prefer to chat online than to meet our friends face to face this aspect of making assumptions and things going downhill has become a usual occurrence. Let us ask questions and communicate effectively than making assumptions.

Always do your best

Now your today’s best is going to be different from your yesterday’s best and definitely will be different from tomorrows best. Based on our physical mental and environmental factors our bests vary. The last agreement of always doing your best brings the first three agreements together.

That is it from me for now. I hope you enjoyed this post. Please share your thoughts in the comments and also share if you have read these books.

See you soon with another inspiring post. Stay happy and stay blessed.


  1. Suzy Suzy

    I found you through Pinterest. This post is my first step towards healing my heart.

    • Soumya Midhun Soumya Midhun

      Hello Suzy. I am humbled by your words. Sending you much love 🙂

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